How do you heal a child’s brain?

I end most of my posts with ‘You are significant because you are and I love you because you exist’ and I want to explain why.

For many people, love feels conditional in some form or another.

You may have felt loved, appreciated and valued when you were a ‘good girl’ and helped Mum and Dad with something or played quietly and didn’t cause a fuss or never got angry or always shared or didn’t cry often or received an award at school or was the best on the team or or or.

And that’s not a bad thing for parents to acknowledge your positive personality traits or achievements in sport, school or community. But where we get all mixed up is when we associate that condition as being the reason you are loved, appreciated and valued.

Because if you weren’t smart or pretty or sporty or helpful or quiet or a good, easy, likeable kid then it’s easy to internalise ‘Would I be loveable if I wasn’t that thing or acted out that condition?

’You aren’t significant because of your qualifications or your job or your family or your contribution or because of anything that you bring to the table. You are significant simply because you are.

Love shouldn’t have conditions on it and you aren’t loveable because of anything you did, said, achieved or accomplished. You are loveable simply because you exist.