Make the unfamiliar familiar

Did you know your brain will always choose the familiar over the unfamiliar? Your brain associates familiar with safe and unfamiliar with unsafe.

The problem is, is that for people who have experienced trauma in childhood, adolescence and/or adulthood their brain identifies pain, anger, sadness, frustration with familiar. They are familiar emotions and feelings so if you knowingly or unknowingly try to shift out of those familiar emotions your brain sounds the warning alarm and it’s job is to bring you back to familiarity, back to perceived safety. Stress is the default status. 

Living with escalated emotions, heightened feelings, stress and busy-ness might be familiar to your brain but it’s not healthy for you.

When you sit still, stop being busy or attempt meditation does your mind wander to the dishes that need to be done, the car that needs fuel and all of sudden you’re thinking about that time you were embarrassed at school by that teacher who called you out in front of the class and now you’re angry, flushed cheeks and thinking of all the swear words you wished you’d been able to say?

Congratulations your brain is doing it’s job. But that doesn’t help you when you’re attempting to meditate and now you’re a mess and so frustrated that now you’re adding meditation to list of things you suck at, no good at and can’t do either. 

It’s not you, it’s your survival instinct kicking in and dragging you back to the familiar, back to the known, back to perceived safety.

So how do you break this pattern?

Practise, practise, practise and practise some more.

5 minutes a day. Take 5 minutes a day to be still, to breathe, to intend to quieten your mind for just 5 minutes. 

And then do that every day or multiple times a day when you’re called or when you remember to or when you feel you need to. You need to teach your body that it’s ok to sit in the unfamiliar and that there’s a different way than chaos and busy-ness. Just like teaching your body to crawl, use a spoon, ride a bike or drive a car.

Your body is literally addicted to the negative emotions you live in. Yes addicted and it’s about time you broke that habit so you can move to the next level of your life.

You are significant because you are and I love you because you exist.